A not blogging fail of sorts...

I'm not blogging today. I'm imagining lying on a cooshy couch under a window, you know that kind that's a million tiny panes of glass divided by wood?, and it's snowing outside and there are big old trees all around. Every now and then, the fire crackles and my guy sighs in his sleep and a dog comes over for a snuggle.

I wonder if we need new energy resources, not because we're running out of oil, but because we need something that runs efficiently in ice-agey-type weather.

I posted on facebook that this guy was the first guy to ever really love me, but that's not true. The first guy to ever love me was my Hershey, my red dobie who would do anything for me (and even then, in between him and Pablo the fosternewf is Boo...). June 18th, 1988, I got my Hershey (for my birthday! kinda) and December 24th/25th, 1998, he died. He was my soulmate dog and I treated him terribly.

Teenagers, you know?

We're at day two of not yelling at my guy. I think that's some sort of record. I am more peaceful after my unloading. I forget that the reason I'm so messed up is based in repression. That's part of the reason I started this blog in the first place. Well, the other blog that is now hidden away and collecting cobwebs.

On the old blog, I found a post about how I will be perpetually single and can't commit. I talked about how some people in my entourage at that time were husbandy material, but I didn't want them anyway. It was a curious post given its timing, which was when I would have felt very attached to certain people who would later betray me terribly. It's curious because in my memory, I cared about him far more than I actually did. You know? In my memory, I didn't heed red flags and I was free and idealistic. But reading that old post made it clear that I wasn't.

Plow went by again. I guess it's time for some midnight shoveling? So exhausted.

He's my best friend, this one. We don't do much, we don't change the world or have the drive to accomplish greatly significant things- outwardly, anyway. But we do have ridiculous amounts of fun doing nothing together. We do laugh a lot, even if it's just because I have this God-given talent for making bizarre noises with my voice. :D

*reeeeeeeeeeee*

He takes away my shyness and makes me incredibly shy at the same time.

Teehee.

Ok, shovelies.